I’ll never forget the day my son almost drowned. It was exactly 1 year ago from today. We had been at a private swimming pool, there were 4 adults there that day along with my 4 children. Somehow when there are more adults around, I feel more comfortable, but really I think everyone assumes someone else is watching.
(This photo taken 7/7/2010 at his first swim lesson for this year, he did amazing, much better than I did actually, I was on the edge of my seat the entire lesson.)
We were getting ready to leave the pool that day and everyone was getting out. My son was playing on the steps and I was changing the baby’s clothes and not paying attention. The next thing I realized my daughter was yelling “MOM! MOM!” she was also yelling her brother’s name. When I looked up, she had her floaty in one arm and our son in the other and was swimming as fast as she could back to the edge.
Thankfully my mom was quick to yank him out but he was already blue and non-responsive. My heart dropped as I saw his little lifeless body lay there on the concrete. I froze, just couldn’t believe my eyes. Thankfully my mom was quick to turn him to his side and pat his back, he immediately started throwing up, which lasted for what seemed an eternity. He had soiled himself and had petechia all around his eyes, face and throat, but he was breathing, my sweet baby was breathing.
Unfortunately the teenage lifeguards on duty were of no help what-so-ever and advised us to take him home to rest. On the way home, he started crying his stomach hurt so we decided to go to the ER. Praise God for that decision because when we got there his lungs had water in them, they scolded me for not calling 911 and rushed him into for oxygen. If we’d have gone home that day he would have surely died in his sleep.
Later after talking with our son, he said he had slipped off the bottom step and couldn’t reach, in an attempt to get back to the steps he had actually floated out towards the middle of the pool. He said he put his hands up in the air hoping someone would see him, and praise God, our daughter did. She said she saw his hair floating, but he wasn’t moving, so she grabbed him. Our 6 year old daughter saved our son’s life.
So why am I writing this horrific post? Two reasons:
FIRST: Be AWARE! Drowning doesn’t always look like drowning!
No matter what the amount of water your children are playing in, keep a close eye on them. I now stay in the water at all times with them. We stay together and get out together. And I don’t rely on lifeguards to watch my children, the lifeguard that day didn’t even notice my son drowning, and my mom had revived him before the lifeguard even got over to us, even though we were yelling at him like crazy. Finally, be informed! The lifeguard that day told us to go home. If this happens to your child NEVER go home! According to our pediatrician if there is ever a restriction of the airway of any kind i.e., choking, drowning ALWAYS GO TO THE ER IMMEDIATELY. And if it is a near drowning like my son’s it is best to call 911 rather than drive them yourself.
SECOND: The second reason for this post is to admit my own feelings of guilt. I’ve never fully forgiven myself for this incident. I can go on and on about what I could have done, but that’s not really relying on God, that’s me trying to carry my own burden. I’m still not sure how to let go of this except through continued prayer, so that’s where you’ll find me today, giving prayer and thanksgiving to our Heavenly Father for looking after his children.
Timely as God is, I received this devotion from Alpha Omega Homeschooling:
I’ll never forget the day my son almost drowned….read more.
If you’ve had a tragedy in your home and struggle with forgiving yourself, God knows your pain. Being a homeschooling parent doesn’t mean you can protect your child from every physical bump and bruise. Accidents happen, and many times there aren’t any good reasons or answers to explain them. Only God knows what each day will bring, but praise the Lord that even when bad things happen, He is still able to turn them around for good. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Lord, I can’t see the good in this situation right now, and I feel like it’s all my fault. Please, help me to forgive myself and trust that somehow, You will make sense of this problem. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ALWAYS keep an eye on your children when they are swimming, drowning can happen in an instant.
Now, pull yourself up by the bootstraps, take your kids to the pool and have a safe and fun summer.
Erica,I too have an incident that was VERY hard to forgive myself for. And even now, when I feel like I've forgiven myself, something will happen to remind me of that situation and how completely AWFUL, NEGLEGTFUL, GUILTY, and TERRIFIED I felt. Like you, it was something I didn't think could happen, and never even THOUGHT about happening because I thought I'd taken precations to prevent it. But it happened, and now, I have a record with DCFS because of it. One simple mistake turned into something to haunt me forever.BUT, the Lord has helped me heal and has helped me get past the incident and heal myself, who was the hardest person to heal. Shelly
Your post is so brave and yet the story that needs to be heard- we cannot simply close our eyes and say "it'll never happen to me". I am so glad to hear God was with your daughter & in the situation that day and saved your son's life. Thank you for posting this-
What a horrifying experience for all of you. I'm so glad your 6 year old daughter was there, she's a little angel!How upsetting that the lifeguards were useless. You just figure they have a least some type of training.Thanks for the reminder, I'm sure it will help many people!
Thank you for this post. I am so glad that you and your family had a happy ending and God was watching over your family that day. As a former Aquatic Director at a YMCA and a strong advocate for water safety, I hope your story will help to remind other parents of how dangerous the water can be. There is no substitute for parental supervision and teaching your child how to swim. I also agree – don't rely on lifeguards – adult or teenager. It is not always an age factor – but rather how well they are trained and supervised.
Drowning is something I've always been paranoid about when it comes to my children. I have three…6, 3, and 2. In fact, I've always made them put their life jackets on in the house because I was afraid someone would fall in while I was putting one on one of the other kids. And everyone has to get in together and out together. My rules were very strict. I tell you this to say that even with all of the precautions on my part, this summer my youngest fell in while reaching for something. I was putting sunscreen on my mother-in-law's back. My back wasn't even turned all the way around from view. (not very cautious on my part still) My six year old daughter started screaming for me to look while at the same time my 3 year old son had jumped in to help him. Though, at 3 (and even though he handles himself well in the water) he was making it worse not better. When I turned to look I saw that my just turned 2 year old had fallen in and couldn't get off of his stomach and kept rolling in the water. The life jacket doesn't help you if you don't know how to control your body in it. It just kept rolling him back on his stomach. Myself, my MIL, and my daughter all jumped in at the same time to get him out. How scary! We, thankfully, had caught him as soon as it happened and all of this happened in about a 5 second span, though it felt like a million. I've always thought it was amazing that you can remember and recount so many details of something that only lasted a few seconds. It was the scariest thing ever. I'm thankful you wrote this as a reminder for everyone, because things can happen to even the most cautious people.
Thank You! We had a similar story happen in our family. Thank you for opening your closet and letting us see you skeletons (so we don't acquire some of our own).When God forgives us…he forgets. But he allows us to keep the memories so that we will not repeat our mistakes. I think a good measure of whether you've forgiven yourself is whether you feel you've become a better parent because of what happened. We ALL make mistakes…some very dangerous. It's what we LEARN from the mistakes that count!!!Thank you so much for sharing!!!
Thanks for sharing your heart. I walked around (still do at times) carrying guilt about things that were really out of my control. God is the author of EVERY circumstance. He saw what happened and he wasn't disappointed in you. He is enough for you ALWAYS even when you make a mistake. We all make mistakes and thankfully God knew what they would be before we were even knit together in our mother's wombs! His grace is surely enough and Romans 8:28 will always prove to be true no matter what the situation is.
I am so thankful to hear your son is o.k. People tease me for being the "overprotecrive" mom especially around water, but it can happen so quickly. You did the right thing, and you were able to share with many others who can learn from this. Thank you for sharing something so personal. Many blessings to you!Jill
Thank you for sharing. I had always been in the water as a child, with or without supervision, a life guard as a teenager and always figured my kids would be like me, but the reality of chilhood drowning became real to me when I met my husband. When he was 6 his little sister drowned and there is a burden of guilt that he and his parents still share because they all feel that they should have been the one to make sure the gate was locked. Since becoming a mother, this experience has made me so much more protective of my own children and everytime I walk into there house and see the picture of the sweet little girl whose same face is now that of my daughter's, I feel overwhelmed with how real it can be.
Thank you for sharing. I had always been in the water as a child, with or without supervision, a life guard as a teenager and always figured my kids would be like me, but the reality of chilhood drowning became real to me when I met my husband. When he was 6 his little sister drowned and there is a burden of guilt that he and his parents still share because they all feel that they should have been the one to make sure the gate was locked. Since becoming a mother, this experience has made me so much more protective of my own children and everytime I walk into there house and see the picture of the sweet little girl whose same face is now that of my daughter's, I feel overwhelmed with how real it can be.